The Beauty of going your own pace | Life is Not a Race

Go at your own pace. You’ll eventually find the unique gift life is able to reap for you.

 I remember the pivotable moment where I thought it was a race, a long track with a start and finish line with the ambition of finishing first in place, or if you ever played Super Mario then that was the concept I thought life represented fully. At the age of seventeen years old I attended a predominantly white school filled with kids harvested from a white picket fence family that had already orchestrated their children's educational careers, setting them up for who they were going to be in society. Not everyone, but I would say most. And if you know me, I didn't grow up with that dynamic, not that I grew up with no guidance but just not as detailed as some. Even in current times, I flash back to a time in high school seeing the girls in my grade, you know the pretty ones that fit in perfectly in school, discussing their college plans, college tours, and other grand life adventures they may have planned.

 At this time, all I could think was that's exactly what I want by this certain time, as well. If I don’t, I will be losing the race and who likes losing? Nobody. At least, that was my adolescent mindset. So, from the age of seventeen till present I have always had this perception of my success having to equate to how fast I am able to achieve my general lifetime milestones, which would naturally make me exceptional. Then reality started to hit, I didn’t go to a college at a four-year institute right out of high school, I still haven't graduated with my bachelor's yet, I didn’t pop out any kids, and I am nowhere close near settling down all at the sweet age of twenty-four just that I imagined I would be. 

Then another realization happened afterwards, and this may sound stoic or just not as deep as I planned but after my first heart break in my career, I began to truly question my concerns on my success. 1. Who is in control of this race and why do I care? Because it’s not anyone's race except for you. You know the saying the world doesn't revolve around you? Well, it does in your world, because this is your life. When it comes to your existence, there is your maker and protectors in the higher realm to guide and protect you, in my beliefs. Then in the physical, there is you. You are the company, the vehicle, the driver, and the competition. 2. Am I happy where I am? If so, then nothing else that follows matters, you are doing exactly what you wanted to do and there should be no one to make you feel ashamed or wrong for doing so. The reality is the only person you should feel compelled to compete with is you, only you.

One of the biggest timelines I was so insecure and embarrassed about was my academic timeline, however, I will be proud to say I graduated with my bachelor's at 27, then me saying I never completed my BA because I didn't think I would win the race. You can never lose the race, as long as you’re in it, especially when it’s intended for you. You may fall and stumble along the way, possibly have to slow down but regardless of you will have to the finish line if you want your end.

All of those things I mentioned that I didn’t complete on a “social accepting time” gave me so much experience, within my timeline that I don't think I would have explored as much as I was able to, if I tried dictated my timeline to be socially aligned with my peers. From exploring the beauty of the west coast of Africa to earning my cosmetology license and certification, purchasing my own car, and meeting individuals who have truly changed my life for the better. The beauty of going at your own pace is exploring yourself from good to the bad parts, developing new skills that you are so proud of freeing yourself from a dreadful clock and your ability to accept. If I didn’t go down the path uniquely designed for me I would struggle with concept acceptance and pivoting, intensely more.

Many of us still actually struggle with accepting our paths of life. We have been trying to “catch up” with their peers when it comes to if I have mastered this, the absolute answer is no. It taught me how to get closer to the real feeling of freedom. Once you experience true freedom you don't necessarily care about other people's path because yours will truly shine to brighten pay attention to others. Being free from fear, the “cringe”, and the feeling of not being perfect is quite literally the equivalent to opening the pandora box. You discover a new sense of truth about yourself and the world around you and what you are capable of doing, things you may have believed you could never do. 

 At some moments it is easy to understand why I'm not going at a certain pace in my life and I accept that. However, I also have a lot of moments where I want life to move on express shipping only. But that's not life, life is not meant for you to solve but experience. So live! Do what makes you happy, we've all heard that before but sincerely. Don’t worry if the outcome will be successful or discourage yourself because of your mental timeline but do it because this is your one and only life you get to see, breathe and love in your current body. So, enjoy your world and pursue the life you crave whenever, however. Love thy neighbor and pour into your community. 

Remember, most importantly pour into yourself and not the timeline. You are loved, you are a gift, and comments are open to share a moment in life where you felt forced on a path not meant for you and how you were re-routed back to your truest self, See you in next post!