Beyond the chair: Redefining beauty and the Norms

For those who knows me personally know that I am a licensed cosmetologist and have been doing my own hair since I was thirteen up until the point I decided to loc my hair, which has been amazing but between the ages 13-23 I was doing fun and practical styles on myself however, from time to time my aunty and mother would do my hair. 

As a girl who is passionate about beauty, I was very frugal on how I beautified myself, a baddie on a budget is the motto I lived by! I loved the beauty world with all my heart from skincare, cosmetology to hair, it's my passion. So, at the age of 20 I pursued cosmetology with a heart full of ambition yet with no idea where it would lead me, but I knew it was one steppingstone leading me to being in my element.

Taking a leap of faith I went to cosmetology school pursuing hair.

Was the cattiness real? Yes

Was it draining at times attending 9-10 hour days? Absolutely.

But I loved every moment of it.

It felt so reassuring when I would step behind the chair, however I was feeling a void I couldn't ignore “is this everything I really want?” yet I would subside the question because I was happy, I knew I was in a transitional moment of my life, but I was actually content. So, I no longer entertained that small yet heavy question in my mind and continued on the path I had outlined for myself. Afterwards, I landed my dream job, yesss! I worked so hard to be recognized for my hard work and I was ready. Getting my dream job made me feel so relieved. I was ready to execute my hugest plan, first move into a mainstream salon, next leaning more into natural hair clients, then learning and practicing opening more opportunities for diverse women to walk into any salon and have a stylist accessible, that was my plan at least. However, mainstream cosmetology doesn't necessarily encourage or promote that.

At this time at my dream job, I was working as an assistant. If you have ever been an assistant of any kind, you understand how tasking, repetitive, and helpless it can actually feel, yet you reap little to no benefits depending on who your mentor is and unfortunately my mentor wasn't much of a benefit for me. Not a personal attack on any of my mentors, later in life, my last mentors ended up being down to earth beings and I am very grateful to share the same spaces as them and be the guidance I needed. However, that was a unique experience but even then, something was missing. The industry doesn't usually set up the greatest system for creators to shine while learning and make a reasonable living. 

Fast forward, my dream job turned into my soulless job to the point I didn't understand why I was putting in so much work and nothing felt intentional, purposeful, or joyous. When learning I am being shamed or unnecessarily pressured, yet I still purpose hair because it was my love. Well later that year, my mentor fired me.

Not because I was late.

Not because I messed up a client’s hair.

Nor did I do anything significant enough to leave anyone upset.

However, I didn’t call her on my day off because I didn't call her to let her know how much I messed up and what I could have done better. That's when I realized, this lady thinks I live and breathe for her, that I owe her my life.

Never in a million years will I ever be that person or work for someone who thinks that way. It oozes nothing more than an ego filled with an empty illusion of power and respect and a soul that lacks purpose. 

However, I continued my love, held my head high and well let's just say I discovered more truths about being behind the chair. My last experience at a salon was in the nicest term, a zoo. A small, confined salon, where you work on top of coworkers, filled with gossip and un-fulfilling conversation, yet once again no authentic care for the hair or beauty world but stocked and reloaded with drama and status.

These experiences took me back to my original thought of my career, when I asked is this everything what I really want? And I finally had the courage to say no. 

No, this is not all that I want.

I want to make a change in the beauty industry that uplifts womanhood and helps them on a path to love themselves in the salon and at home, to discover how beauty shows up in a person, how to build sisterhood within the beauty world and I am determined to do that.

My love for all things beauty has never really gone away and I still want to pursue hair and beauty, but now I can do it untraditionally.

So, the burning question is do I still do hair? Well, yess!

I am still doing hair, just less traditionally and more with intention and I absolutely love it! I no longer feel rushed; I allow myself to take my time and learn whose hair I'm working with. I have more creative freedom and I'm building real connections. So, I don't JUST do hair and beauty anymore but also help others understand it.

Now I'm beyond the chair and take on the position to educate and start new conversations about how to redefine beauty. Especially being in an environment that held on to early 2000s salon and model beauty standards that are extremely harmful to the way we perceive ourselves from weight to hair. We as women are so much more than that, and if we continue to harm ourselves, we hurt our sisterhood. As individuals we are all mirrors staring at reflections, so if I harm myself because I don't represent a certain standard, I harm you.

When the pinnacle of beauty should be enjoying the discovery of you, from how you like to wear your hair, what makes you feel absolutely gorgeous yet comfortable, and continuing to rediscover what that looks like for you. not what I think, not what your mentor thinks, or what Instagram thinks, but what you think, only you.

Eventually, I will consider myself to be a modern-day beauty philosopher who is willing to share their knowledge and create a space to hold deep conversations on the concept of beauty and break down the stereotypes that no longer serve us.

Thank you so much for reading this post! This one that is near and dear to my heart. I love the support I received in this short amount of time. My career has always been a sacred topic to discuss because of how passionate I am about it, however, to say I will open new doors in the cosmetology world. So, thank you for opening your hearts to it.

Please share your passions and positions you hope to see yourself in!